A Stay-at-Home Mum’s Testimony: God Changed My Heart
In preparation for my Mother’s Day sermon at church, I wrote to an old friend, who is a mum of two young ones (with another on the way), asking her why and how God changed her view of motherhood over the years. This is what she wrote. It’s a huge encouragement to me and I hope it is to you too:
I went to an all girls private school which was awesome, but unfortunately also shaped my thinking very much to be that women can achieve anything and be ‘so much more than just a mum’. So my life through high school, uni and working was very much anti-‘stay-at-home mum’. I honestly thought women who stayed at home had no ambition or probably only did it cause their husbands made them and they have no backbone to stand up for themselves because of their culture of personal situation. After getting married I still viewed kids pretty negatively. My biggest thing was that I thought kids would be a HUGE inconvenience (and they are!!!!) to travel and life.
My husband always wanted kids and so we really only started trying because biologically I thought we should when I turned 30. My plan was to have 2 kids and go straight back to work. I actually wanted twins to get it all out of the way in one go!!!! And I thought: I have no idea how to be a mum so why not leave it to people who are professionally trained to do so? At least in day care the kids are looked after by people who want to be there and people who are well trained to do so – much better than me who is totally unqualified for this job.
Thinking back now, I was so incredibly selfish and thoughtless in so many ways.
When we fell pregnant, I read Psalm 128 and some other verses in the Bible which really confused me. I couldn’t understand why the bible and God saw children as a blessing and as a gift. To me I could only see them as a hassle. I tried to understand why God saw them as a blessing, but I just couldn’t. And so I came to realise that my view on kids must be so so wrong and so worldly and selfish if I couldn’t even fathom how they could be a blessing.
So I just prayed lots and lots. I prayed that God would change me and change my point of view. That he would help me see kids as a blessing.
And all I can say is that He has. I really do now see kids as a HUGE blessing from God. They are so incredibly adorable and so precious. I just love my two kids so much and I can’t imagine how stupid I was to not want them!
The decision to stay home full time is a hard one though. I do it ‘coz I love being at home with my kids. I really do love it. It is so tiring and unrelenting most days. But they are so much fun and I just think that the time from now till they go to school is so short so I may as well be with them as much as I can.
I don’t think being at home is the right decision for everyone. I can’t really explain why I do it. Also we are lucky enough that my husband earns really good money so I can afford not to work. And also cause I delayed having kids a few years I am at the stage in my career where I can find reasonable part-time work at good pay if I really want to. But also, I do think for me career as a priority and importance has just dropped away. It’s not that I don’t care about it but I think there is a season in life for everything: a season to advance your career, and a season for family. And right now the season for me is to look after the kids.
That’s kinda all I can really say. Not sure if that is helpful and I do feel quite emotional about this (maybe that is the hormones though!!!!). I can’t give all my reasons for being at home full-time but I do believe that through prayer God has changed me.
He has changed me from being someone who couldn’t fathom why kids could be a blessing, to being someone who now sees kids as a HUGE blessing and treasure from the Lord.